To my dear Dennis.

Next year, in October 2021 we would have been married for 50 years, that’s half a century.  How can I put into words everything that we have achieved and been through together? It was love at first sight when I first met you in the kibbutz.  You were a volunteer and I was an ulpanist. I loved your mass of curly black hair and your cheeky smile. You had a great sense of humour and loads of self confidence and you just won me over.

You were such a charmer and you have certainly passed that on to your children and grandchildren.

You loved the kibbutz way of life, simple things made you happy and content.  Your entire wardrobe consisted of 3 shirts, 2 pairs of short baggy pants, tanach sandals and a pair of suede shoes that you got from the kibbutz.  Not to forget the white shirt that you wore every Friday night when you went to your kibbutz family, Heidi and Tzvi Charles. You only wore shirts with short sleeves and buttons on 2 pockets, even in winter, it was your trademark. T-shirts were definitely not your style. You had only one coat, a blue worn out jacket covered with emblems of all the countries you had visited during your travels. I remember one funny occasion when we came to Scotland for a year to get married. My father came to meet us at the train station, he took one look at Dennis and thought he was the worker who helps with the luggage.  Dad said to him “ok,pick up the suitcases porter”. It took some explaining to convince my dad that this was his future soninlaw and not the station porter.  When we arrived at my parent’s home Dennis dumped the suitcases and announced “All right you lot, see you all later, I’m off to the pub for a pint of beer”. As you can imagine, my parents were in total shock but that was Dennis. Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.I’m off to the pub for a pint of beer”. As you can imagine, my parents were in total shock but that was Dennis. Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.I’m off to the pub for a pint of beer”. As you can imagine, my parents were in total shock but that was Dennis. Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.Needless to say when they got to know him properly they absolutely adored him.

Our life together had its ups and downs and we went through some hard times. Dennis always enjoyed a glass of beer but eventually the alcohol took over his life. Living with an alcoholic took its toll on the family, it was like a tsunami engulfing you and all you can do is to try to keep your head above water. Eventually Dennis went to re-hab for 3 months and faced his demons. He had been clean for over 28 years and attended his AA groups every week. As a family we all supported Dennis and he made an amazing recovery, he was the most fantastic father and grandfather.  We were so proud of him and for many years he would drive members to the various hospitals for treatment. Everyone wanted Dennis to be their driver because he was so helpful and patient.  It was his way to repay the kibbutz for supporting him all these years.

Dennis was so talented, there wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix, paint or build and all with such precision and patience, every project was meticulously drawn up and planned. During the Corona outbreak when couples suffered being stuck at home for so long, for Dennis and I it was like a second honeymoon.  We enjoyed each other’s company.  Dennis put up wallpaper, painted the house, we cleaned the garden and at lunch time we would sit in our verandah and have lunch and coffee together, chatting about the children and grandchildren.  We reminisced all the good times we spent together.  I’m glad we had that quality time together because a month later we found out that he had cancer and it was just downhill after that.

He was such a wonderful caring grandfather to Adam, Itay and Matan and then Daniel came along, he was so happy.  It was just a shame that he couldn’t be in Daniel’s life a bit longer.  I am so grateful and lucky to be blessed with my three wonderful children, Asaf, Eliav and Orly and my amazing daughterinlaw, Melina, who have been at my side throughout this difficult time.

Dennis always used to say that he lives just for today and that we must take each day as it comes and make the best of it because you don’t know what the future holds and he was right.  He battled the cancer so bravely and when he decided it was time to go, he did it at home with all his family around him as he would have wished.

You are now at peace my darling husband and partner. I’m sure you are up there somewhere sitting with Safta Feigie and having a cup of tea and cake. You will be missed by so many people.

From your loving wife, Carol

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אבא,

הלכת כל כך מהר.

בקושי היה זמן לדבר.

איבדת את היכולת לתקשר ואנחנו נותרנו מנחשים את מחשבותיך, תחושותיך וכל הרגשות שבטח הציפו אותך בתקופה האחרונה. זה היה קשה. זה לא היית אתה! –תמיד סיפרת לנו הכל!  אהבת לשתף מה עובר עליך, איפה היית ומה עשית.

נראה כאילו רק אתמול עוד היית "סבא דניס" שכל כך אהב את החיים שלו. זה שבונה, מתקן, מסיע, ושמשקיע את כל כולו בנכדים ובמשפחה. היית תמיד זמין כל כך עם מוכנות ורצון לעזור לכל מי שאהבת.

בחיים איתך אבא היו עליות והיו ירידות. אבל שום דבר בעולם לא יוכל לקחת ממך את ההישג שלך שבנקודת זמן מסוימת השכלת לקבל החלטה ועברת שינוי מעורר השראה. אני כבן שלך ראיתי איך כנגד כל הסיכויים אבא שלי נלחם במחלת האלכוהוליזם ומנצח אותה ע"י התמסרות למשפחה, שהפכה עבורך מטרה ופוקוס חדש בחיים.

לימדת אותי המון. תמיד היית הפרטנר שלי לכל הפרוייקטים שלי ומה שרציתי לבנות, היועץ שלי לכל סוג של בעיה טכנית. למדתי ממך להיות אמיתי, להיות נאמן למי שאני, אבל יותר מכל לימדת אותי שאנשים יכולים להשתנות! אתה ההוכחה לכך - הצלחת לזנוח הרגל רע ולבחור בחיים חדשים עם משמעות חדשה והנאה מהדברים הקטנים והפשוטים. כי כזה באמת היית - איש פשוט, חיובי, ותמיד שמח בחלקו.

בזמן האחרון עברת לדבר אנגלית. חזרת לשפת האם שלך, ולכן אסיים את דבריי אליך באנגלית.

Farewell my dear beloved father.

My life with you has been an amazing journey. You have always been a great father to me by supporting me to move forward in my own path and choices.

Will always remember you as a genuine person with a chicky Australian spark.

As they say - they might have taken you out of Australia, but they will never take the aussie out of you.

Rest now, knowing I forever love you.

Your son, Eliav

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אבא,

רק אתמול עוד נישקתי אותך וחיבקתי אותך ועכשיו כבר צריכה לכתוב עליך בלשון עבר.

זה הכול קורה כ"כ מהר ולא טבעי. אין סיכוי שלא הרגשת אתמול כמה נישקתי אותך וכמה דמעות הזלתי עליך. מאוד מקווה שידעת והרגשת כמה אני אוהבת אותך. נתתי לך חיבוק ולא רציתי לעזוב אותך.

כמה שאני אוהבת אותך, גם אם אגיד 100 פעם זה לא יספיק! בא לי לצעוק לשמיים שתשמע ושכולם ישמעו את זה! איזה אבא !! רק לפני כמה חודשים בנית לי ולדניאל ארמון קטן בשכונת הסטודנטים. לא עניין אותך כלום רק לדאוג שיהיה לנו נעים וכייף. כל פעם שהתקשרו אליך איפה אתה אמרת אני אצל אורלי מסדר דברים.

היית משלמת כל הון שבעולם להכין לך כוס קפה ועוגה כמו שאהבת.

כמה חיכית לדוני....שהוא נולד היית הסבא הכי מאושר בעולם! איזה סבא היה לו למשך שנה וכמה זה כואב ויכאב לי שלא זכיתם להכיר וליהנות יותר אחד מהשני. רק לדמיין את התגובה שלך שהוא קורא לך סבא....

אני נפרדת היום מהגוף שלך אבל מחוברת אליך לנצח. אני מרגישה אותך בכל מקום ובכל איבר בגוף ואוהבת אותך אבא עד השמיים וחזרה ובטוחה שתשמור עלינו מלמעלה ותלווה אותנו בכל דבר.

אני מדמיינת אותך למעלה מחייך, שליוו ושותה לך איזה קפה של ארומה ומאושר על כל מה שהשארת כאן למטה! השארת משפחה חזקה, שמחה ומאוחדת, שלעולם לא נשברת גם ברגעים קשים ומבטיחה לך שתמיד אשמור על הקשר הזה.

שלך,

אורלי 

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Uncle Denis

How blessed I feel to have you as my uncle.

The more I think about you, the more I understand that our relationship existed on 2 levels.  You are my uncle, our uncle, but you are also an Ideal.

From a very young age we were taught the love and passion for the land of Israel.

From a very young age, I wanted to serve in the Tzavah

From a very young age, I wanted to live the ideal of Aliya

You were the living proof of all those Ideals.  You were the man in my life that said little but did much to live an ideal.

I got to tell you this for the first time last sunday.  There are hundreds if not thousands of people around the world, Jewish students, tourists and even evangelistic pastors that know about my uncle Denis.  The reason is that I start almost every lesson or speech telling people who I am and where I come and that my idol is my Uncle Denis. 

You used to tease me about being a Rabbi and so to get you back, I am going to have the last word and give a dvar Torah and you can't even argue back!

It is tradition to teach a Mishnah as it has the same letters as Neshamah.

But it is not me teaching this mishnah, you taught these words through your actions.

בֶּן זוֹמָא אוֹמֵר: אֵיזֶהוּ חָכָם, הַלּוֹמֵד מִכָּל אָדָם

Chacham - Uncle Denis,you knew everything about everything, you even knew everything about nothing.  I remember the countless times you would take us somewhere in Israel and you would give us a whole speech about what happened in this place, but yet there was no proof that what you told us ever even happened.

You had so much life experience, some we can mention here and some that we can never mention.  But so much of those experiences happened through your interaction with people.  Absolute strangers who you met on the street,in a pub or on any of the countless adventures you had. 

אֵיזֶהוּ עָשִׁיר, הַשָּׂמֵֽחַ בְּחֶלְקוֹ

Sameach-  Your checkered shirt with a few buttons done up, some even incorrectly.  To see you overcome with joy at the sight of your grandchildren, a simple smile, a step taken, to you your grandchildren gave you true simcha.  You were not a man that needed much to be happy.

אֵיזֶהוּ גִבּוֹר, הַכּוֹבֵשׁ אֶת יִצְרוֹ

Gibor - I have never in my life met a man that recognized a weakness and did everything in his power to change.  The past 25 years of your life, you were a different man.  Still the same sarcasm, outlook on life and unforgettable tzubyises, but you became a man who overcame alcohol, a caring grandfather and a loving husband.  Uncle Denis, you may have been a soldier in Lebanon and Gaza, but you became a true GIBOR, warrior in your heart and for your home.

Uncle Denis, thank you.

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for teaching me

Thank you for inspiring me.

Your loving nephew Natan

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